Kendall's Days.

Over the past 6 weeks, through everything that has been going on, I have seen and heard a range of emotions that people are feeling. A lot of people are posting about the ways they stay positive even when it is hard, others are posting about their mental breakdowns (being raw and vulnerable), and some people are actually posting about how this isolation is one of the best things that could have happened to them.

We are all so so different. People will continue to handle this isolation/pandemic differently and that is completely normal, but I just want to ask, “How you are really doing?” This is not the “how are you?” one mutters to another in the elevator, this is a real, how are you.

Its hard to deviate from the “well” and “fine” responses we usually give, but I am just asking you so that you can really ask yourself. Ask yourself how you are doing, what you need to feel better or more calm, what does your body need, etc. This is such a strange time to live in, and I am not going to preach at you that you need to feel one way or another or that you shouldn’t be down in a time like this. Hell, I am down during this time quite often. But I do think talking about it and sharing our experiences with others helps us feel less alone and even sometimes gives us a new perspective.

I am such a social being that isolation is really testing me right now. I had a breakdown week four because I wanted to do so many things with so many people, and just felt stuck. And on top of that, my weight was going up a little and that wasn’t comforting at all. I was so down about it all and I just started crying.

After I let myself have my breakdown, I knew I needed to help myself refocus. I watched a ton of YouTube videos of people explaining their breakdowns and how they turned their situation around. I also watched videos of how people are staying monumentally active and motivated during all this. I am not saying these fixed my issue, but to be honest they were pretty helpful. Seeing other people’s perspective during these last 6 weeks has truly given me a better mentality and allowed me to focus on what I need to do for myself. I still have some down days and get pretty sad, but I also am becoming more grateful for the positive things this has brought me.

I want to share a little list of the positives and the negatives this time has brought me. We will talk about it after.

Negatives:

1. More lethargy/lack of energy – therefore a little weight gain
2. Selfishness – for not being able to go do fun things that I felt entitled to
3. Annoyance – from having to work at my kitchen island standing
4. Inability to see family/friends in person
5. Too much snacking – lol, who’s with me?

Positives:

• Not having to wake up as early
• Clearer skin from not wearing makeup daily
• Longer nails – not much I can hit them on to break them
• More time to spend with my boyfriend
• Connecting to more friends online or via video chat more often than I did before 
• The ability to decorate our apartment how I like
• Not wearing pants much
• More time for self-care routines
• Bought a Nintendo Wii – this is a huge positive!!!!!!
• More time with my cat
• New hobbies: embroidery, making clothes, repurposing items
• Some of the best, most fun video chats with family – mostly involving alcohol
• Becoming a bartender – so much time to craft some cocktails!!
• Spending shitloads of time outside – which I should have been doing already
• Actually losing the weight gained in the first 3 weeks from changing my mentality and getting more active

Now, as you can see, my positives list is much longer than the negatives (I bolded my top ones). I really didn’t expect that but as I was typing, I just kept thinking of more things. I really am doing a lot of good for myself that I wasn’t really paying attention to because I was so butt hurt about not being able to go to my favorite restaurant/bar. Honestly, that is really selfish of me. I was playing over and over in my head how unfair it was that I couldn’t go do things, when really everyone is in the same damn boat so I needed to stop that selfish energy and refocus myself.

I encourage you guys to make a list too (whether its physical or mental) just so you get a little perspective on how you are truly doing. Maybe this list can help you channel your energy toward the more positive things that have come out of it all. I felt a little down this morning, but after typing that list and realizing how many good things came from being in isolation (that I wasn’t giving any attention), I feel much better. I am sharing that so that maybe it can help you too.

Even if your “negatives” list is slightly longer, think of ways to focus your energy toward the items on your “positives” list. It may not be easy but I can guarantee that it would make a shift in your mental well-being. Try something new, ask others what they are doing to stay positive, watch videos about it, etc.  Your mental health matters, now and always.

It is a strange, strange time but I know we will all come out of it doing our best. I think a lot of things will change for the better when the majority of the infections are down and things can start to revert to a newer, better normal. I think America will have a new perspective on jobs, working from home, companies and their PTO, mental health, safety, and hopefully a better perspective and ability to handle future pandemics if they happen.

I wish you all the best during isolation, I truly do. Things are starting to look up and I encourage you to focus on the good as best you can. You do only have one life to live, so spend it as happily as you can because you deserve it.

Love you all. XOXO.

-KH

The majority of people often has a negative perception of themselves in at least one of three categories:

1. body
2. career
3. overall image.

It is honestly really sad how often we talk to ourselves negatively and feel as though we will “never be good enough” for ourselves or others. But I will also go into why this is often our own fault and our own problem that we have the power to change. No one else is responsible for your life but you, but it can be difficult to both understand and overcome(don’t come for me, I am just being honest).

A lot of these issues come from the more recent spike in social media. When we are constantly bombarded with sexy bodies, great career highlights and luxury living, we often compare ourselves and talk to ourselves more negatively than we ever have before. This is not just a recent issue though. Just like procrastination, this has been an issue for so many centuries. Women back in the 20’s thought being very thin and staying at home gave them the premier life, so larger women would tell themselves they are worthless or that they needed to drop 50 or they would never amount to anything.

But now more than ever, we see so many positive experiences posted by people we don’t know, so many people with endless money and “simple” careers, along with tons of “perfect” figures that are filling our feed. This allows us to focus on the fact that our lives aren’t half as cool or glamorous, and therefore, something is wrong with us or we simply just suck. Since we rarely see people posting their insecurities, their rough lives leading to their amazing career, or their bad days… Well we tend to get a little selfish and start both feeling bad for ourselves and then in turn, talking negatively to ourselves about why we don’t have X or why we don’t look like Y.

This negative talk can keep us from so many incredible things. If we tell ourselves we don’t deserve something like a promotion at work, well then odds are we wont be working any harder to get one, and that hinders us when it is actually completely reasonable to get the promotion. We just keep telling ourselves we don’t deserve something, so we don’t go after it.

Same goes for when we tell ourselves we need a perfect body like some famous model and that our body sucks. First of all, you are putting unrealistic body goals in your head because bodies are so individual, and no one can have the exact same body as anyone else. But also, if you just keep speaking negatively of your own body, even if you gain results you’ve been wanting, it will never be that model’s body and therefore never good enough in your opinion. It’s a truly vicious cycle that never allows for any results that can fulfill you. 

This is a tough concept. Almost everyone is way too hard on themselves, and people constantly put themselves down because compared to someone else, their life is less great. I think everyone knows this is a problem, and to be honest, recently (within the past year or two) I have seen more social media influencers posting their insecurities and bad days which is awesome. The more that celebrities and influencers share their negative experiences, the more we start to see them as a regular person rather than some holy, perfect creature that we will never compare to. This doesn’t mean that I want more celebrities to have bad days.. They already have stressful, insecure days that we just typically don’t see. No one enjoys posting something sad or upsetting. It is just refreshing when someone like that shares a bad day or bad experience so that we “average folk” get a better sense of reality and can see that these people with high follower counts experience similar issues to us, all the time.

I personally have come a long way with the way I talk to myself. Back in high school I was ROUGH to myself. In my opinion I was always fat (when now I would kill to have that body back haha), and I was too weird for people to actually like me. I told myself that all the time. But, now I feel as though sure, I am a bit pudgy but I am happy with myself, my personality and my weight. To me, my weight currently is not the most ideal right? BUT that doesn’t mean I hate my body and need someone else’s. I will never again tell myself that. I love my body, it could use some work, but I love it because it is healthy, it can carry me long distances, and I should always be thankful for that.

Now, for many people this is not an easy mental change. A lot of people, no matter their size, really struggle with appreciating their bodies. This can be a touchy subject, so I will try to cover it in a very objective manner. Think about your body right now. Does it hold you up? Does it allow you to breathe? Does it pump your blood to the right areas? Does it absorb nutrients you need? Odds are most of your answers are yes. And these are the basic needs the body performs. Some of the people who love their bodies the most are the ones who have actual physical and internal impairments where their body doesn’t work the way it technically should. My acquaintance from  from college had no legs. He couldn’t walk right? So, he would answer no to the first question, but yes to all the rest and he is one of the few people who talks the most positive about his body and his future. He is so appreciative of what he has. It’s inspiring.

Put that into perspective, and just remember that your body is exactly that, its yours. It is the only one you will ever have, so take care of it and try to love it. If you feel a little large or a little pudgy for your liking (like me), try altering your diet a little and exercising a bit more. But don’t tell your body you hate it, don’t tell yourself you’ll never have the body you want. If you keep doing that, you truly will never end up happy with it. You don’t want to set yourself on a path of self defeat, trust me.

Just think about the way you talk to yourself on a daily basis.

Is the way you talk to yourself more negative than positive and if so, try to figure out why. Figuring out the why was crucial for me and finding that root of my negativity is what allowed me to change the way I think and speak to myself: I was always following people on social media who were super fit, very sleek and had super cool jobs that allowed them a lot of amazing experiences. I allowed myself to think that their body and their career was just handed to them or achieved super easily. I started to think something was wrong with me. Why don’t I have a career making videos and living in a beautiful beach home with a killer body? BECAUSE (and I am going to be blunt here so don’t come for me) I DID NOT WORK HARD MAKING THOUSANDS OF VIDEOS, RESEARCHING SEO TECHNIQUES, WORK OUT 6 DAYS A WEEK EATING SUPER CLEAN AND EDIT VIDEOS 8 HRS A DAY. People do not just “get” great bodies or great jobs. They WORK for them. We cannot get something that we don’t work for.

I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but think about it. When we speak negatively of ourselves, we forget that we are usually the root of our own problems. We HATE hearing that. I know, and I am sorry if a lot of people get angry reading this, but you are truly often your own problem. I was not working out much, and I definitely wasn’t eating well when I hated my body. I was selfish and felt that I deserved a high metabolism and skinny legs. I don’t deserve anything really. I can work for everything I want, I am often just lazy or don’t apply myself, and therefore I am the only one keeping myself from getting a better body, a better job or a better home. You have to work for yourself to give yourself what you want. It’s a simple concept but it is really hard for us to understand.

We all want to take the easiest path, that is human nature. But the people you are comparing yourself to, they work really hard, they probably have more bad days than you but you just never see it. So you turn around and look at yourself in a negative light when really the person you compare yourself to works 80 hr weeks, works out for their job and probably has long nights every night to achieve what they have.

Look at yourself, try to be thankful for what you have. Remember that everyone you compare yourself to has their own struggles and insecurities. Remember this when you talk to yourself or about yourself. You are unique, you are alive, you are able to achieve anything you want! It won’t be easy to change your negative talk or negative mindset, but baby steps are an incredible start. Try waking up each day and saying one thing you are thankful about with who you are. “I am thankful I can breathe each day on my own,” or “I am thankful for another day of health.”

I am not telling you to just start gawking over yourself and loving everything about your life right this moment. This is a long journey that I still need to work on myself, but just remember that changing the way you talk about yourself little by little can bring you truly greater and more impactful days ahead.

You are all you’ve really got, so appreciate yourself and all you can do!

I love you all, and I hope you all start to recognize your beauty, your worth and your potential. xoxo.

-KH

Ahhh, yes: procrastination. Who can HONESTLY say they have never procrastinated? If you say you haven’t, you are lying. I am pretty sure that everyone has been a procrastinator at some point in life, or even just toward certain things.

We procrastinate with small things all the time, like doing laundry, washing dishes, vacuuming, working out, the list goes on. And sometimes we procrastinate with bigger things that matter even more to us, like visiting family, making payments, and finishing projects for work or school. Whatever we are procrastinating on, there are ways to combat our delay and work more *cough cough* consistently (peep my previous blog) toward completing tasks. This in turn makes us more productive, which I am sure a lot of us are striving for.

We procrastinate for many reasons, and this is not a “recent” problem we face. People have been procrastinating for centuries, but I do feel it has gotten worse (which isn’t really our individual faults, it is all the distractions we have in life now that make focusing much harder). I, like many others who have written about procrastination, think of it in the way of a “reward” standpoint. We as human beings love the sensation of being rewarded, and we most definitely prefer immediate rewards over long-term rewards.

That is the #1 reason why dieting fails. People want to look/feel better but taking the 6-10 months to see the reward and progress sometimes doesn’t seem as rewarding at the  moment as the feeling of eating sweets. This is a tough concept, and I personally still struggle with this. Nothing wrong with treating yourself, but constantly giving yourself treats that diminish your long term results could ruin that plan all together.

Back to the reward theory, small immediate rewards make us feel good right now. We all want to feel good all the time, and we typically choose these “right now’ rewards over long term rewards simply because the long term ones feels of reach. But it will always remain out of reach if we continue to live this way.

Lets work with an example: Let’s say I have been in the market for a new car, and it is a goal of mine to get a nice new car in a year and a half (delayed reward, and this is a real example of a goal I have), so I am working to build my credit score and save up money. Now, say I delay paying my credit card bill one month because I want to get myself something nice that day, and my credit card company has a grace period of 2 days. I allow myself the excuse and I buy myself a nice pair of shoes. Because of that, I pay my credit bill late because I forgot and it’s been 3 days. I now have a ding in my credit company’s eyes for being a late payer, AND my credit score will go down for that late payment. I am also, out more money from the shoes I bought. I just delayed getting my new car for a silly, immediate reward that matters far less than the car does. By procrastinating my payment, I set myself back from something truly important to me.

Procrastinating doesn’t always prove to be that serious. Sometimes we procrastinate homework because TV sounds better right now. Well, that may not effect us a whole lot, but it will reinforce that bad habit and even make us feel bad sometimes.

I,  along with many others are often all about living in the present, but if you never work toward shaping your future, you truly won’t progress much. So, oftentimes you do have to look toward the future rather than the now to get where you want to be. Confusing, I know, but true. Our present and future rewards systems are at a feud most of the time, and that is challenging but also worth trying to balance.

So how do we stay motivated to change our actions and stop procrastinating so much? It isn’t going to be easy, but we will look at a few ways to put your procrastination into action.

I read in an article once that the pain of being in the middle of your procrastination sometimes feels much worse than being in the middle of the actual work/action itself. When you know you are “ruining” or delaying something for yourself in the future, it is an uncomfortable feeling, and often worse than just doing something to move yourself forward.

Here is a quote from that article: “The guilt, shame, and anxiety that you feel while procrastinating are usually worse than the effort and energy you have to put in while you’re working. The problem is not doing the work, it’s starting the work.”

One way to try to combat procrastination is to try mixing current rewards with future benefits.

• Say you want to eat better and work out more to have a better looking and feeling body in the future. So, when TV sounds better than working out, why don’t you turn on the TV and do an in-home workout while watching? Maybe it won’t be as impactful as the full blown workout you may have planned on, but at least you are still putting in some effort toward your future reward and you also get to watch your favorite show.
• Here is another example for mixing your rewards. You’re doing a project that would move you ahead at work, and you tell yourself you will work on it a little each night. But, you decide that going out with friends 3 nights a weeks is just too fun to miss out on and the project will have to wait. Why not meet your friends 30 minutes later, and dedicate yourself to 30 mins of working on the project? That way you have both moved your project forward, and still got to have a fun night with your friends.

Immediate and future rewards don’t always have to be one or the other, but we often think they are fully separate. But, when you look at it the way I outlined in the above, you really can have the best of both worlds!

You can also try making it harder to reward your current self with things that put your future self at a disadvantage.

• Use the car example again: I know I am constantly bombarded with ads for new clothes and things, and since my credit card in literally on the back of my phone, it is easy to just pull the card out and buy something. So, if I put my cards in a separate wallet, away from the devices I see adds on, it makes the buying more of a process and will make me think a little harder about whether I really need that purse or not. Then I can save more money for a new car!
• Another example of this is probably one you’ve heard before but with the goal of eating better, say you often find yourself eating out, or eating junk food and it is putting you back. Try making a budget for eating out and don’t let yourself go over that budget! Also, when you are at the store, stop buying unhealthy snacks so that they aren’t even available to you in your home.

Finally, I will say this in probably every blog in this series, but visual reminders and writing things down are great ways to keep your focus on where you want to be!

This is all definitely easier said than done, but these are pretty small switches that could really help keep you more focused on the future and less able to procrastinate on reaching your goals.

Just remember, we are all flawed individuals and no one expects us to be perfect. These flaw blogs are just about recognizing the issue, understanding it, and trying to work on them a little each day to benefit yourself in the long run.

Procrastination is so unbelievably common and people battle with it all the time. Try making some of these small changes, and I bet your future self will thank you!

Love you all, have a wonderful week!! xoxo.

-KH

I’ve decided I want to do a series of potential “flaws” we all probably experience at some point, and how to work on them in our everyday lives. Flaws are often seen as negatives but really they just differentiate us all and make us who we are. A ton of people share the same flaws so the good news is, each flaw itself is not unique and you don’t “suck”. Many people struggle with certain flaws, and a lot of them are more popular than you think.

I figured addressing these flaws, what they look like, and ways to improve may be a great way to help us feel a bit more united and a bit less hard on ourselves.. *cough cough read my last blog on that!*

For the first flaw of this blog series, we have INCONSISTENCY. I wanted to focus on this one first because I am realizing that this is the flaw I struggle with most often. You always hear about people who start all these projects and then quit right? Yeah that is often something I am guilty of. I am always seeking new thrills or excitement that I often neglect some of the things I should remain consistent with. This can be a huge downfall in the working world, and even in interpersonal/intrapersonal relationships.

First, lets take a look at what exactly inconsistency means. Inconsistency by definition is the fact or state of being inconsistent (big surprise there). BUT, inconsistent means “not staying the same throughout”, “acting at variance with one’s own principles or former conduct”, and “not compatible or in keeping with.”

Now, looking at some of those definitions, it kind of seems like you would want to be inconsistent right? – Ever changing and evolving, finding new answers, etc. But I am talking about inconsistent in the sense of the third definition, “not compatible or keeping in with.” Inconsistency like this can really start to diminish your image/brand to both others and yourself.

When you set goals or plans for yourself, and you don’t stay consistent in the effort to achieve those goals/plans, you’ll never reach them. This in turn, will make you feel disappointed in yourself and also knock your confidence levels down a few notches. Same goes for goals at work, if your team has a set of goals for the month or the quarter and you are being inconsistent in your efforts to reach them, not only are you letting yourself down.. you are letting your entire team down and putting them at a disadvantage.

I know this because I have both seen it from others and been a part of the problem myself. I think the fact that I am even owning up to that goes to show that I am already moving in a positive direction to attempt to increase my consistency. I always want to be seen as a dependable and competent individual, but if I remain inconsistent with my efforts for both myself and my career goals, how could I expect to be seen that way or  even feel that way?

Ask yourself these questions: Have I finished the last 3 projects I’ve started? Have I put in the necessary effort to move my career forward in the last month? Have I set goals for myself and given up on them in the last 3 months?

These are difficult questions!! They are meant to be hard to answer because if you answer no, you uncover a “flaw” in your consistency. I answered these questions and I DO NOT enjoy the answers I had to them. So, I wanted to look at why consistency is so important when it comes to progress and how I can improve.

Consistency helps you utilize the power of intention. As you may have read in a previous blog, I have told myself that I am going to work harder to get healthy and fit again. That is my intent. I have no real end goal other than feeling good about myself, but say I eat healthy for four days in a row and get my body moving more, but then the next five days I eat like shit and maybe move my body one of the five days? I just took one step forward and two steps back because I was not being consistent with my efforts. If I keep that up, I will never get any closer to being fit and healthy. See what I’m saying? I am not implying that “cheat days” or “days off” are bad – If I did those first 4 days really well, and it’s Friday so I want to have some ~drinks~ and pizza and take the day off of working out, but then remain consistent the next 4 days again. THAT is 2 steps forward, 1/2 step back and therefore I am progressively moving in a positive direction toward where I want to be!

The same concept goes for your career/work. Take my example here too: I am working in an entry level position for State Farm. This is not the department I necessarily want to stay in, but it is a wonderful place to start my career. My goal is to get into the Creative Services department where I previously held internships and loved them. I think creatively, I love advertising and I want to work hard in my position now to get to that department. I believe I would thrive there, and I could see myself spending a majority of my career there. BUT, I can’t just hope to get there without putting any effort in right? Right. I mentioned my goals to my current manager, I keep up with previous team members in the Creative Services department, and I am continuing my education in creativity by taking courses online, outside of my job. Here is the example of inconsistency: I started an online course in social media and neglected it for excuses I made up, but I recently started back up because I CANNOT KEEP STARTING THINGS AND QUITTING. That is lazy and that is INCONSISTENT with the direction I want to go in my career. I need to be consistent to reach my goal at State Farm.

This goes for anyone. Are you working on a big project to get promoted at work? That’s awesome! Well, what happens if you put it off, put it off and put it off even longer? You are putting yourself at a disadvantage by increasing the amount of time it will take to get your promotion and potentially ruining your chances at the spot completely. Employers love consistency: in work ethic, positive behavior and personal brand. If you are all over the place, constantly putting things off, and missing your goals in the workplace, what can you expect? The promotion? No. Plain and simple. Cut and dry.

Inconsistency is a flaw many of us encounter and like I said, in some scenarios this is a positive. We want to constantly be improving and evolving – not staying stagnant. But to progress in life, we have to work consistently toward our goals. If we don’t consistently put effort in, we cannot get much of anything in return.

Here are some of the best tips I have for increasing consistency where it matters:

1. Remind yourself each day of where you want to be tomorrow, next month and next year.
2. Talk yourself through your plans to get there. Maybe write them down. A visual reference always helps keep us accountable.
3. Look back at all the projects you’ve been inconsistent with and remember the feeling you have when thinking about this. This feeling alone – of seeing all of the things you could have completed, really puts it in perspective.
4. Tell others about your goals, have someone keep you accountable if you need it. Have someone check in on your goals.

There are tons of ways to work on your consistency, but the key is that you truly have to figure out your intent and get focused.

Where do you want to be? How do you get there? And how can you stay on track?

Planning out specific times to work on certain goals or projects can also really help. Dedicate yourself to maybe one or two things at a time. Don’t start 30 projects and expect to be consistent with all of them (lol me – but old me now!). Start slow, and work hard because as the cheesy overused quote goes, “quality over quantity!” Ain’t that the TRUTH.

Love you all, I will be back next week with another blog for this series!

–KH

How many times have you heard the words “you are your own worst critic”? I have heard this so many times, and yet it seems as though I cannot grasp the concept.. My sister always tells me to stop being so hard on myself, and she’s right. However, I keep catching myself doing it.

I’ve been looking up ways to alter my thinking so that I stop believing I have to do a ~phenomenal~ job at everything I put my mind to. And to me, that is probably the hardest thing I am going to have to overcome in my life.

I was working this morning, and I started feeling nervous that I was going to do something wrong today. And you know what? I probably AM, but why am I so worried about making mistakes? I never grew up in a family that expected me to be perfect so why am I putting that pressure on myself?

I’ve been thinking about this, and I can’t quite put my finger on why really.. Maybe it is because I am so afraid of failing because apparently making any mistake would make it seem as though my goals are unattainable.. But that is stupid because without making mistakes, you never learn. LOL. Regardless of the why, I really need to accept that I have faults, mistakes can be fixed (especially at work), and that mistakes/doing the wrong thing teaches you how to do the right thing in the future.

Why does being wrong allow us to in-turn be right? Ask Mark Manson, author or The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. A book that I have now read through for the second time recently. ” He explains it like this, “There’s a famous Michael Jordan quote about him failing over and over and over again, and that’ why he succeeded. Well, I’m always wrong about everything over and over and over again, and that is why my life improves.” And he goes on to say, “We shouldn’t seek to find the ultimate “right” answer for ourselves, but rather, we should seek to chip away at the ways we are wrong today so that we can be a little less wrong tomorrow”. 

The chapter is all about being wrong and why that is so important. It really got me thinking about just how hard I am on myself for making a mistake as small as telling someone the wrong phone number for someone else.. Okay? Maybe that is a tad inconvenient, but they will find out and I can either reach back out or they can get the right answer from someone else. BUT, at least I noticed my wrong and I have that knowledge to carry with me so I don’t make the same mistake again (or at least not multiple times in a row). PS: I recommend this book if you haven’t read it already.

My brain has trouble wrapping around this concept though, as I’m sure many of you struggle with as well. I feel SO BAD and SO GUILTY for making small mistakes, but after reading this book yet again, I think it is starting to allow me to see my mistakes in a newer light.

This information goes for everything though. I get upset with myself for eating too much one day as if ONE DAY is going to shape my fitness journey for the rest of my life. I feel as though making a mistake at work permanently keeps me from being promoted in the future. I get upset when I give someone the wrong information but realize it too late: I think I soured our relationship and it will be something hard to recover from. All of this is wrong, and Mark Manson, unlike me, thinks that those mistakes are GREAT!!!!! 

He’s right. I am the one who is wrong and I need to realize that my mistakes are not always hindering me. In fact, being wrong helps me be right…. Crazy sentence there but we get it right? Shit makes sense!

So anyway, today was my little rant about how we all need to stop being so hard on ourselves. I know I am not the only one out here putting loads of pressure on myself and beating myself up over small inconsistencies and mistakes. Honestly, we can all work on ourselves and try to keep from making maybe SO MANY mistakes, but trying to keep yourself from making any mistakes whatsoever is plain, well, WRONG. We need to learn to become better versions of ourselves each day. We can’t just expect to be all-knowning and put ourselves down when we aren’t. Plain and simple.

I’m going to start documenting my “wrongs” along with what the answer should have been or could be. Writing things down (oh man, another quote we’ve heard 100+ times) helps you remember things better. Now knowing I at least can move forward more knowledgeable with every mistake I make, puts me in a better headspace already. I just recommend we all try to take a little pressure off and enjoy being wrong for the simple fact that later, we will actually be right!

Love you all, have a fabulous weekend. And please, make some mistakes!!!!!

-KH

I will not sit here and pretend that I am doing great during this Coronvirus outbreak. I know some of you people out there are absolutely thriving, reaching their goals, working on things they have always put off and that is AWESOME. I truly wish I could relate, however, I am struggling a bit and I’m sure I’m not alone.

When this first started becoming a large-scale concern, I was so ready to work from home and spend time in my apartment, but being the major extrovert that I am, I am truly ready to work from work again, be around others in public spaces and feel unstuck. But I know it will still be quite awhile before that happens so each day I am attempting to find my light in all this and make myself feel more productive. First thing’s first:

FACING REALITY: 

Again, at first I really though it was going to be fun working from home for two weeks and saving time on commuting and just relaxing for a bit. Turn’s out I, along with many others, have been naive. I can admit that. I saw this as another H1N1 that was being a bit overhyped but saw it as a mini staycation time. I’m terrible, but again at least I can admit to being wrong here. This has become such a large and serious issue, and I know that staying in as much as possible and keeping distance is the only way to ease the spread and flatten the curve. BUT, this made me face the reality that I could be working from home and staying in for many more months to come.

We may not have a vaccine for another 12-18 weeks, so I am forcing myself to face the reality that there is no definite end to this and this is my new normal for awhile. That being said, and that taking me 2+ weeks to realize, I am gaining a lil’ weight, drank a bit too much (because it seems acceptable now more than ever to enjoy a nice cocktail at any hour, lol) and I am not using my time wisely. BOOM THERE! Me facing reality.

Again, being completely honest, I am horrible at facing the facts. I enjoy being naive but I am almost 24 years old so I need to buck-up and start taking responsibility here. And maybe some of you need the same wake-up call I did. So here it is, this is your wake-up call. HELLO!!!! Face your reality if you are like me, we are stuck like this for awhile. And I don’t mean stuck in a bad way so let me rephrase: We are going to remain in this new “normal” for awhile to come, so find your silver linings. 

Perfect, so next step is to:

COME UP WITH A PLAN – NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL:

I often create goals for myself that are either too complex or won’t bring me longtime happiness, so I am working on formulating the best plan of action for myself in isolation. Living with Justin helps my sanity a little bit, but we are running low on ideas to keep us occupied.

I have two issues with myself right now and that is 1. Gaining weight (which tbh a lot of us are right now and that is OK, but I personally want to stop this before I allow it to get out of hand..cough cough…because it easily could knowing me) and 2. being unproductive. Like I said, I have put on a few lbs, and probably only like 3, HOWEVER, I was just starting to crush my ~fitness goals~ before this happened. I feel like a lot of millennials were just starting to get our shit together before this blew up. So with that, I am making it a priority (not a goal) to plan on eating more nutritious and light meals instead of the pizza and pasta I have been turning to because the media told me those were the best options during this time (ranty run-on but you get it). F U media. Anyway, I just know I feel better when I am eating healthier and making time to move a bit more each day. So I am putting that in my plan.

Getting exercise had also been low on my priority list at first because I am so good at making excuses for myself. I’m sure a lot of you feel me on that. My excuses are lazier than I am. I will think about going on a run and say “well, its cloudy” as if that has any effect on running??? So, I am going to try to first eat healthier and in turn hopefully make myself go outside for at least a walk 3-4 times a week.

I also have been wanting to move to a different position at my work within the next year or so (only started 4 months ago), and I know that I need to work on my creative side and my marketing knowledge to keep it up to date and remain competitive. This is a major goal of mine and as I want to do well in my current position, I know where I want to be, I just have to apply myself and keep working more than average to get to that level. I am making it a priority (like how I’m saying priority instead of goal? that is because once I get to where I want to be, I still want to prioritize this behavior. I don’t want to just get there and be like “sweet I did it, now I can coast”, and I feel like using the word goal would put it in my head that I can coast after that.) to start taking online creativity and production courses. I often start things and don’t finish (terrible trait, I know) but I looked at myself in the mirror and said “this is one of the most important things to me at the moment” and therefore I am done with excuses, I am doing this for me to be happy and to achieve a goal I have had in mind since I began my job.

That last one seems like a big commitment during isolation, but it’s actually not. The outcome is big, yes, but the steps to getting there are simple, just time consuming.

I just know that I want to start filling my time with what is going to get me closer to where I want to be in the future rather than just binging Netflix and playing tons of HGTV games on my phone. DISCLAIMER: there is nothing wrong with that whatsoever, I just felt a personal need right now to reevaluate my priorities because I am simply not feeling good about where I am at in all this.

I know that working on myself during this will put me in a better place with this pandemic. I know I will have some bad days but hopefully reprioritizing my life will ultimately pull me more and more out of my negative headspace and focus on all the good that can come out of this unfortunate time.

I know all of us are different and not everyone is in a weird spot like I am, but hopefully this helps some people reevaluate their time/priorities in isolation and build a better attitude toward it all. Lord knows a lot of us need it.

Also, this time showed me how much I neglect talking to those closest to me and staying up to date with my friends and families lives. Please reach out to your loved ones. My group video chats have done wonders on my attitude lately, and it makes everyone feel connected when we physically can’t be. Hopefully, we can keep up this amazing contact/communication even after this is all over.

WELL, that is all I have for today. I am sure to come up with more as I remain home and in my thoughts 24/7!! Love you all, stay safe, stay sane and most importantly, STAY HEALTHY!!!

-KH

We all have them. Those days or weeks where we feel just… blah. Nothing is exciting, some things are super overwhelming, it feels like things aren’t going the way you planned. We all are victim to these feelings every now and then, and some of us more than others. It’s natural to not be in a constant state of happy!! And that is okay, but it can really suck. So I am going to share some ways to try and help you adjust your mood and hopefully get out of your funk.

A lot of times you can feel like you’re in a funk without anything going wrong at all. That is often what happens to me the most. I get really down and sort of cranky, and I think, “Well what’s going wrong? There’s got to be something causing this.” But that is usually not the case. It is often just the simple fact that not much is going on, and I’m bored with life at the moment. WHICH, I shouldn’t be. Life is so awesome and we are so lucky to have our individual lives, our opinions, and our abilities to do different things every single day. 

When experiencing things like this, a simple thought to dive into is, “what am I not doing for myself?” I will not lie, funks are often your own fault. Harsh reality I guess, but it’s true you guys. We are allowing ourselves to get into these moods, WHICH IS OKAY, but look at yourself first. What are some of the things you haven’t done recently? Have you stopped eating well? Have you stopped working out as much? Have you been missing your friends? Have you been staying in too much? (Going out too much?) Ask yourself questions like this. Odds are, you’ve been neglecting some of the things that feed into your positive mood. Even trying new things can build you back up. Try reading new books, finding new music, taking more walks.

Try cleaning your whole house, organizing your closet, redoing your room. Oftentimes our spaces affect our mood just as much as anything else. If you haven’t cleaned lately, you’re probably getting overwhelmed or feeling too lazy to mess with it. If you haven’t had a change in your space in awhile, maybe you need to! Keep up with your spaces and make them what they need to be to make you happier.

Now, switching gears a little.. sometimes the funk you are in IS NOT your fault. Sometimes other people or events can effect your overall state of mind. Try to pinpoint what is exactly is the root of your issue. Have your coworkers/bosses been hounding you at work? Has there been constant bad news on the TV every time you watch it? Is the weather affecting you? Too many deadlines too fast?

First of all, if it is work or person related, ask yourself how strong your relationship is with that person. Decide if you can confront that person or those people about how you are feeling. If you’re close with your boss, explain to them that your workload is getting to be a bit too much and if maybe someone could take something off your plate. Ask if you can move your desk to be closer to a window or away from a coworker who bothers you or talks too loud. Ask if you can take a day off for a personal day and get your shit back in order (I wouldn’t necessarily add that last part, but you get the idea). You are able to speak your mind within limits, so do it.

If you aren’t feeling close enough to the people to confront them, see if there is a way you can distance yourself. Maybe you can work in a common room, maybe you can write down your thoughts and release a bit of internal pressure. You can also usually always take a personal or sick day every once in a while to reduce stress and focus on yourself.

If your funk is weather related, go read my blog on S.A.D. / seasonal affective disorder. SO MANY PEOPLE SUFFER FROM IT, and it’s very real. Or just move to a warmer climate, that always helps! (lol, I moved to Texas so winter ain’t shit here)

Finally, if the news is weighing on you, which I’m sure it has for most people these days, turn the damn TV off. Find organizations you can join to help relieve issues for others or animals. Donate to charities, sign petitions, channel your mood to do positive. Not only will these efforts help people, animals or places in need, but it helps your mood. Doing good often leads to feeling good and that is a simple choice you can make.

Ultimately, you are responsible for fixing your funks. People can only do so much to help lighten your mood. Trust yourself and work on combating this lull rather than sitting back and riding it out. You have so much to look forward to, remember that. 

Love you all! xoxo. 

-KH

Okay, as many of you know, my major was advertising in college, so I am always looking at the news in the industry. I noticed how much influencer marketing has blown up, and I was curious what the stats were behind it and how much it can assist in sales/traffic.

I watch tons of influencers on YouTube and Instagram, and I never really realized how much I was reacting to their reviews and ideas. I’m a makeup lover, and I just now noticed how many products I have purchased and tried out just because an influencer recommended it. Now, this isn’t just someone famous promoting a product. These influencers are “REGULAR” people using the product, making the experience more human and relatable. This makes the product seem more real, more usable than a simple picture or commercial. This is such organic, user-generated content that people love.

People are always online. Whether it’s cell phones, tablets, or laptops.. people are on the web almost all the time. 85% of Gen Z’ers learn about new products from the social media alone. Reaching people via online/digital is guaranteed to increase  at least awareness, so take a look at how these influencers can get your product out there.

I’ve stumbled upon a few articles that I found sum up the concept and the results rather well, and I will link them below. Read these articles if you are thinking about using influencer marketing or if you are simply intrigued by it the way I am.

• FORBES
• VIRAL NATION
• ENTREPRENEUR

So many people make a living as influencers, and they’re helping tons of companies get the word out about new, innovative products. Take beauty guru Tati Westbrook for example, she has a fan base of almost 10 million… Getting a video out with a new product to millions of viewers is more publicity than anyone could ask for. She reviews products, and keeps an objective opinion on them until she has taken the time to fully test and review the products. Even if the product flops in her opinion, people have still been exposed to the brand and product. Now, I don’t know if any of you are believers in the “any press is good press” quote, but oftentimes this is very true. Even if Tati said she didn’t love a product because “this or that”, viewers still heard about a new product, may go look it up, and this at least increases online traffic for the company. And remember, no two people are exactly alike, so even if one influencer dislikes a product, another might love it. AND PEOPLE LOVE THIS CONTRAST. Viewers like to see different sides and see if maybe a product that doesn’t work for one person, may be someone else’ new holy grail.

Even using influencers with a lower follower count can lead to a small, niche group that could potentially become some of the most loyal consumers. You need to test these theories though, and make sure the influencers you choose are a good match for your company. You should also regularly test what platforms perform best for you and your business.

Influencers are everywhere online:  you aren’t limited to one platform or one type of content. BUT IT’S IMPORTANT TO KNOW, video is becoming the most effective form of advertising out there. It creates more of an experience for consumers. I read in an article on Hub Spot, that 1 in 4 people become disinterested in a company if there is no video used in their marketing. That is something huge to keep in mind. Videos can be posted to Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, YouTube, and more. 

Your company may not need influencer marketing, but just check out the trends and the growth surrounding it. The digital world today is constantly growing, and it may become something of interest for you in the future. Influencers can create organic content, promote products in a realistic way, and increase web/click traffic more than traditional advertising can. Don’t underestimate it.

Well, that’s all I have for you, but I just found it interesting how influential influencers are (lol) in the marketing world today. I figured people should spend some time learning more about the possible advantages of using influencer marketing for their companies, and if anything, it’s simply interesting.

Love you all. xoxo.

-KH

I took a break from my blog, as you probably know. I needed to spend the rest of my senior year in college learning, having fun, and working on job prep. (That’s just my excuse because I was also just lacking motivation and ideas). But just bare with me.

I’m back and I am really feeling weird lately. In a good way though. I moved with my boyfriend (Justin) down to the DFW area two weeks ago, and I am…. JOBLESS. For now. We both moved down here without jobs, just us and our savings. BUT, we get to live with my sister and her husband for a few months in their new house while we are on the job hunt. Hopefully we will land jobs soon. I’ve looked into some really cool ad agencies down here that have caught my eye.

It’s hot down here, but I think we came at a great time where fall is starting to approach but we still have some summer to soak up. I’m excited for a mild winter. I CANNOT WAIT to NOT scrape my car off. Texas was not our first choice necessarily, but Denver is so expensive and if we start our careers down here for a few years, get comfortable in our career objectives, maybe we can move there when we can live there eventually more comfortably…

What we’ve been doing: We have been obviously looking for jobs, but we wanted to  make sure we are being active and working on ourselves too. My goal has been to work out about 5-6 days a week, lose some weight (I’ve gained a it working at a restaurant all summer), and apply to some jobs each week. The thing is, though I know I need a job, I’ve been doing tons of research on companies and really focusing on applying to ones I know I’d enjoy and respect. The problem to me with “rapid-fire” applications is that I feel like I’ve simply made myself become a “number”. I understand that people do that to find jobs because not everyone responds, but I know who I am, I know my intelligence level and I know what I’m looking for. I feel confident that I can land one of the few I’ve applied to if I really demonstrate my abilities and personality. I’ve been staying active and I’m honestly feeling really good.

I’ve been trying to figure out which roles I would be best at in advertising. I had a huge focus on creative during college because I am very right-brained and believe in messy processes and amazing deliverables… but I also love working with teams and talking with people and planning strategies. I’m super active on social media and I love to see how much it impacts people and their decisions on both buying and interacting with different businesses. I decided to take it upon myself to look up certifications that I can take online to become a better candidate. I am currently working on my Social Media Marketing certificate. I think that having these certifications and learning everything I can on my own time will really help me start my career on a strong note.

Anyway..

Our cat came with us, obviously. I got Banks a little over a year ago and she is the most awesome cat I could have asked for. EXCEPT, she is in her angsty teen-phase right now.  I didn’t know cats really had that phase but she is being needy as hell and meows  for attention constantly. She knocks things over just to get a reaction and loves to wake me up at 5 a.m. every damn day. Gotta love her though, she is my child. I made her her own instagram too lol.. That is definitely not below me. See below, plz like and follow. She a bad bitch.

I hope this update will suffice for now. But I think I am going to be posting weekly again because I miss this and I love sharing my ideas, my thoughts and just interesting things I find worthwhile.

I love you all. xoxo.

-KH